Change your feelings, change your life.
Don’t you love it when a streak of favorable events happen? From that job promotion to all the traffic lights turning green right before you reach the intersection. Life can’t be scripted any better.
Each time a windfall of events occur, I’ve always wondered if there is a way to continue that momentum of positive “flow”. Since change is a constant in life, having consistently good hair days to unexpected store discounts will naturally ebb and flow.
But there are certainly many ways to maintain that momentum of a windfall in the midst of life changes. Sure there are going to rough days, if not weeks and months, here and there. But what if those time periods were far shorter?
Let’s focus on one of the many ways that can help to shorten those rough periods in order to maintain the momentum of of favorable events.
To start, perception is key, especially when everything in life seems relative.
Last week my youngest cousin, Kate and her boyfriend got engaged. It was wonderful news but I’ll be honest, I was angry and jealous. Since we were little, I’ve always compared myself to her as she was the closest in age to me.
After hearing the news of Kate’s engagement, my thoughts were everywhere. I bounced from how my boyfriend and I were dating for a longer period than Kate and her fiance.
Then wondered why things always seemed to come so easy for her. She always had the looks, brains, among many natural talents.
When my best friend Jill came over that night, I’m embarrassed to admit that I, a grown 33-year old corporate manager, did the ugly cry. I started going down the rabbit hole of “why is life so unfair” to declaring that I was not going to Kate’s wedding in order to avoid relatives asking when I’m going to get married.
Jill got it. In our circle of friends, we are all in our 30’s and interestingly enough, my circle of friends are not married and all have younger siblings who are married with children.
As millennials are marrying later in life, I still felt so alone on this path. After calming down and much reflection, my mood lifted within an hour. How? I brought things into perspective.
Did I want to be married today? No. My boyfriend and I have so much going on in our personal and professional lives that the ideal time would be in two years when we will be living in the same city.
And the most important aha factor? I needed to stop comparing apples to oranges. Throughout my life, I thought that I was comparing apples to apples. What can be closer than blood relatives’ right? Wrong.
I’m here in this lifetime to learn lessons that will help to grow my soul. Lessons include compassion, patience, forgiveness, and selflessness.
Each person has his or her own life lessons to learn as well and in different life categories, be it in the category of finance, health, career, love, etc. We’re all here to learn how to be better people and develop our souls.
Therefore, regardless of blood or any grounds of commonalities, anytime I’m comparing myself to Kate, a work colleague, or celebrity, it’s never going to be comparing apples to apples because we are here to learn different lessons in different life categories.
Sure, it’s natural to compare yourself to others. But the next time you’re on Facebook scrolling through your college friends’ photos of bliss, take a step back if those feelings of jealousy creep up. Recognize that you are likely comparing apples to oranges, which isn’t a fair comparison by any standards.
By keeping things in perspective, this allows for the momentum of favorable events to continue. Notice how those “off” moments don’t last very long as soon as your perspective changes!
Regardless of the changes in life, you can always change your the way you look at things.
So if you can’t seem to get out of that funk, ask yourself: “What is the lesson that I can learn from this?” There’s always a silver lining even if you don’t see it right away!
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